Mirror

waterfall

You are a mirror for me, Bosnia, and I love you for that.

I love you for your people who can’t sleep.  I love you for your people who have to fill the painful silence with their own voice.  Or those who find they can no longer speak.  I love you for eyes that suddenly look off into a memory.  And for a laugh that reverberates your cells, reminding them they are still living.

I love you for both breath and God forgotten.  I love you for no longer feeling fear because under fear is love and loved ones no longer live.  I love you for needing to tell your story, longing for your innocence to be heard.  I love you for building new life in ways you never dreamt, even as the old ones continue to tug at your heart.  I love you for the knot that remains in your core, not sure how to move toward wholeness when your neighbor harbors weapons years past the time of letting go.

I love the way your days are long and short at the same time…. your time the time of life unraveled.  I love you for hours spent sipping kafa, rest from what toils inside.  I love you for the hard labor of rebuilding brick and mortar and bridges.  I love you for planting roses even before the work is done.

This I share with the utmost humility… I love you for bringing me here to heal.  Because I walk with a ghost inside, and among these people she begins to find her flesh.

A student here – a tourist here – and, yes – both healed and healer here.  You teach me through the mirror you hold up to my soul.  You teach me that the simplicity of my own yearning is what I came to offer to you.

Hear my story; yours I hear.

Witness my innocence; yours I witness.

Help me rebuild a life; yours I help you rebuild.

Experience my beauty; yours I experience.

Receive my generosity; yours I receive.

Let me write my nightmare as a chapter.  (And please read this chapter.)  Let me reclaim my beauty.  Let me return to my sacred.  Remade, yes, but the sweet scent of who I am perfuming the air.  Allow all of me into your knowing of me.  And as I become whole again, know the whole of me.

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