Close up

I woke up this morning at 530am to say goodbye to the group taking of to the airport, I wished I was going with everyone because than it wouldn’t be goodbye so soon.  The hotel feels silent and empty but I do have WONDERFUL wifi service. It is actually the first time I have been able to connect to hotel Kovaci on my laptop. Don’t worry guys, I would choose your company over wifi any day. After the storm last night the weather is still gloomy and chilly. Walking in the rain to get ice cream last night a classmate made a comment that the storm was Sarajevo crying because we were leaving, I loved that and keep thinking about it as I look outside the window.  I think Sarajevo is sad we are leaving, I am sad were leaving. It will take a while before I can really process everything. I am not sure if it feels like I have been here for 3 months or 3 days. The connections made and the important lessons learned makes it even feels like a year. I am really nervous with what comes next on this trip for me and my journey is far from over. Next I will be visiting family I really do not know besides my grandma. I am nervous to what I will hear regarding the war and what version of the story they hold close to them. I am scared for my reactions if I don’t like what I hear as I am not prepared emotionally to discuss this and am still processing. I don’t want to talk about the war now for a while; it needs to rest in my head and heart until I can formulate sentences about it. I am exhausted talking about war.  Afterwards I will head to Croatia where I had lived during the war and spent my childhood days running around, being a little rascal, and hanging with my animal friends. I am really excited but sad that my older brother will not be with me to relive our childhood days. Afterwards, I will be of to the coast to rest and enjoy being in the present moment and not the past. For now this is my last blog, wish me luck!

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